Happiness can be fun, I guess.

Hi guys.

You know those days where you scroll aimlessly through the internet looking for something to do, or read because you're that bored? Well I was doing that the other day and I came across the best article that inspired me to write this. 

At this present moment, Im going through a bit of shit. My anxiety has come back in full force, Im struggling with motivation to do anything and im finding it quite hard being on my own at the moment which is strange, because i usually hate company. 

Although, i've already written something something like this I thought i'd do it again because the other one is quite old and my tastes and habits have changed quite drastically in the past two years and we long-standing readers of this awful blog will know how much I like to write a good ole list. 

I usually give myself a number that i keep to and its usually ten, im just gonna keep going until I run out of things that make me happy because why not. 

1. Cathy and my best buds, also known as my mum, Hannah, Emily, Ellie, and Jenny. 
2. Cats. 
3. Dancing around my room in my underwear
4. Putting makeup on
5. New purfume
6. Long walks around pitville park (usually quite late at night)
7. Receiving things in the post that arent bills
8. Online shopping
9. Shopping around town
10. Being paid
11. A good hug when you need it (Quite a big part of my happiness)
12. Being drunk and one of my fav songs come on
13. The smell of fresh washing
14. Banter
15. New things 
16. Food
17. Sleep
18. Having girly nights where I do my eyebrows and put a facemask on
19. Taking my bra off at the end of the day
20. Having a good cry when things arent going right. 
21. Facetiming Megan
22. Making other people smile
23. Manners (IMPORTANT)
24. Getting 11 likes on an instagram post
25. A good cup of tea
26. That weather thats cold enough to have to wear a coat but not rainy
27. Popping bubble wrap
28. Knowing that you havnt got anything to do that requires effort the next day
29. That person that always makes you happy actually making effort
30. Crawling into cold sheets
31. Going on a date that turns out well
32. Getting the window seat on a train
33. Finding a pen you love and not losing it straight away
34. Making someone cry with laughter
35. Having something to smile about. 
36. Listening to someone tell a story that makes them happy.
37. Waking up and realising you dont have to awake for a few more hours
38. Cats. (repeated and not even sorry)
39. Websites like Buzzfeed and Tumblr.
40. Disney songs
41. Getting a nice text off your family
42. Having something to look forward to (Amsterdam)
43. The smell of flavoured coffee
44. Getting your eyeliner perfect
45. Being kissed on the forehead.
46. Being right
47. Going to a till and finding out something is on sale
48. Spending time with people that love you
49. Someone trusting you with something they dont want others to know
50. Having a "confident" day

:-) 

Hope you enjoyed that little nugget.

Enjoy your new year!

TTYL,

Kirst x

Anxiety pt 2

Hi!

Guess whose back another month later. Again?

Im not sure if people will remember but over summer I uploaded a blog post about how I deal with anxiety, whether it be other peoples or my own. If you don't, im going to link it here - [x]

Well, heres another post about it because within the past few months, its got pretty bad again so rather than bottle all my crap up i'm using this blog as a diary, which was what it was started up for in the first place. 

Im not sure if I wrote it on here, but in October I got a job on Fashion Accessories in House of Fraser, working on gloves. New jobs always freak me out, I absolutely hate meeting new people! It means having to get to know new people, and actually having to find things to talk about which is always awkward. Especially because you're never sure of peoples personalities. However, Fashion Accs wasnt actually too bad as there wasnt actually that many people on there, which was nice. I ended up working there for a month, when I actually got a job with House of Fraser rather than working for an outside company. That was all well and good but it meant moving to a different department. Not just a different department, but a bigger one. 

Menswear.

This is where my anxiety flared up. Im not gonna lie. Menswear in Cheltenham was always very daunting to me. Whenever I walked past there, it just seemed very different to Cardiff's menswear which was always going to happen, but I didnt think I'd find it so hard to find people to interact with. Like, its always nice to have a work buddy. By work buddy, I mean someone you can just have a laugh with, and maybe cause a little bit of trouble with. Im pretty sure i've had that in nearly all the jobs i've had. Over summer, im pretty sure I got told off for talking to one person so much. In Cheltenham, I thought there was going to be NO WAY I would find that person and at the moment, that thought would be living up to expectation. Last Saturday, I got invited out to the menswear christmas night out, and quite frankly, I wasnt going to go. I didnt know anyone very well so I didnt see much point knowing how little i'd end up talking. So when I got home from my shift that day, I received a message asking if I was going to go. At this point, I was pretty bored and in the flat on my own so I decided to go. 

This probably was a pretty much HUGE mistake. From what I remember it was a good night. From what I remember! 

I decided to start on the Sambuca shots just to get my nerves out of the way, because I know how confident I am when Ive had a few drinks. The morning after and i've had my purse and keys stolen and my brand new Iphone 6 wouldn't turn on and was pretty smashed up. I went in to work to find out that a few things had happened the night and people knew before me. 

To make things worse, half way through my shift in work I rang my mam and quite literally broke down in the middle of the staffroom, where people from my department actually saw.

I went home after my shift and took me quite a lot of strength to come back to Cheltenham. Im not gonna lie, Im still not 100% sure I even want to be here still. It takes a lot for me not to want to be in Cheltenham, because before all of this happened I was hoping to live here after I had finished uni. Now, I shake quite often and the thought of even being in Cheltenham makes me tear up a little bit.

I dont think i'd had even cheered up the little amount I have done if it werent for Emily actually cheering me up. I genuinely think that shes being trying her hardest and I cant thank her enough. 

Overall, anxiety sucks and I dont think any of that crap would have happened if I wasnt so nervous. 

In my last blog post, I wrote some things that helps people out when they're feeling shitty(anxious) so I thought I'd write up some of my tells(what happens when I think im close to having a panic attack or feeling nervous)

• I know if im close to having a panic attack I genuinely cannot be consoled so usually I start crying, and I cant breathe. The past few times ive had them, they've been in work and I was quite literally an ugly mess. My make up had been cried off or wiped off with tissues and you could hear my chest wheezing. 
• Im also pretty grabby with myself. Im not sure if that makes any sense but I keep my sleeves over my hand, im wringing my hands or im scratching my chest. 

I know this was a bit of a personal one, and im really sorry if you didnt enjoy it very much but it was just something I needed to write. 

Heres to hoping the next post will be a bit more upbeat.

TTYL,

Kirst x

P.S I thought this picture was very important so i thought I would add it in.

I don’t think that means what you think it means

Hi!

I thought I would write a post about these past two days and what I've been up to.

Im back to my old tricks and writing when I'm hungover so apologies if sentences don't make sense or I make silly spelling errors. 

BACKGROUND INFO

A couple of months ago, this bloke followed me on twitter called "TidalPete". I had a stalk and assumed that he was just following me to get some promotion for his band, so I followed him back and thought nothing of it. A couple of weeks later, I received a DM (direct message) from this guy mentioning that he to wrote a blog and that I should check out his posts. We started talking about why he decided to start writing a blog and stuff, so I decided that he seemed decent and checked out his band.

What I have found out about this band: 

1. They are from Peterborough, which is freaking miles away.
2. Two of the members are also in a band called "Tidal Dave" and another is in another band called "One Nation"
3. They literally have their self promotion game DOWN!
4. They're pretty sick live. If you get the chance, then please go and have a watch. Pete jumps around like a whippet on acid and its brilliant to watch. They're all pretty great instrumentalists.
5. Theyre really nice guys.

BACKGROUND INFO DONE!

You may be thinking, what does this have to do about the past two days?

Well, Thursday evening my two buddies from Cardiff came down to see me, so we could travel up to Peterborough to watch them live. 

Thursday night, Jenny and Ellie managed to persuade Abbie and I to go to props. Props the night before driving two and a half hours was never a good idea, but it was a lot of fun introducing them to propaganda. As far as I know, They had a great night.

The next morning we set off on our road trip, and it was the longest drive I have ever been on which included Abbie saying "Peterborough yay" every time she saw signs, lots of singing and catching up as I havn't seen my babies for nearly three months. Once we got there, we grabbed food and pre drinks and went to get ready! I honestly think that if alcohol hadnt been involved in last night, i would have passed out. 

First up was a guy called B-Sydes

This guy was so cool and super humble. We saw him after his set and I told him how great he was, and he literally didnt stop hugging me and thanking me. 

Next, a band called Scumbus. 

Literally the most funny band ive heard. At one point, the lead singer had a sombrero on and their song definitely had a mexican tone to it. 

Photo Finish were up next.

Photo Finish were the reason we went, and they did not disappoint! They honestly have so much stage presence and they play so well live! Like i said earlier, Pete jumps around like a complete loon, and at one point, put his guitar and just went and stood in the crowd. Baring in mind, they were in the middle of their cover of All Time Low. I asked him why later that night, and his reply? "Cos I can"

One Nation played next.

Unfortunately, I didnt get to see much of these which im pretty gutted about because what I did get to see was pretty damn sick. 

The headliner, Old School Reasons were last.

These guys were literally the shit. I can 100% confirm that I am a definite fan after seeing these guys! At the end of the set, they got the crowd to do a death wall, which had me concerned about peoples lives that I didnt even know, and the lead singer crowd surfed.. 

Honestly, the best part of their set which made my whole night was two blokes got up in front of the lead guitarists microphone and started miming.. 

Im not sure whether it was because I was pretty drunk at the time but it was honestly so freaking funny. 

After the gig had finished, the venue turned into a nightclub, so we all proceeded to get insanely drunk with the bands and we dance and met lots of lovely people including the Bassist,  Luke's girlfriend and a couple of people that Photo Finish knew personally so that was pretty sweet.

Definitely must have been a good night, because woke up this morning with a penis drew on one hand and I heart PFx on the other (Cheers Peter)

Tidal Pete, Me, Jenny, Abbie, Mark from Old School Reasons

If any of you want to check any of these musicians out,

I'll leave some links below. 

B-SYDES

SCUMBUS

PHOTO FINISH

ONE NATION

OLD SCHOOL REASONS

There we go.

Thats all folks.

Hope you enjoy it.

Please go check out those bands, promise you wont be disappointed.

TTYL, 

Kirst x

Addiction in Cheltenham

Hi guys. 

I cant believe its been over a month since I last put up a blog post. Slacking a little bit, I know. I wish I could blame it on the 3rd year work load but alas, I cannot. I haven't started any of it. I want to say its because none of its due in any time soon, which is true but that doesn't even scratch the surface. 

The main reason: procrastination.

I know this is a usual excuse for people but let me just explain what ive been doing to procrastinate. 

(This is the part where I embarrass myself greatly)

Activity #1: Greys Anatomy

Greys Anatomy is a 11-season tv show originally shown on ABC and now streamed on American netflix and I am OBSESSED with it. Ive been watching it for about two months and im currently on season 7, which should be both impressive and pathetic. Why both, I hear you ask?

Impressive because within around about 60 days I have watched 126+ hour-long episodes of this programme. Its pathetic because within those two months I could have been doing something productive like starting my dissertation or researching things for the record label thing im setting up for one of my assessments. 

Here comes my reasons why you should watch this amazing tv show. 

Reason 1: If you're into "relationship goals" and watching friendships blossom into amazingness that could become an addiction at any point, then you need this tv show. 

RS1: Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang

RS2: George O' Malley and Izzy Stevens (Please note: This friendship will break you)

RS3: Mark Sloan and Callie Torres.

Reason 2: It could make you smarter. IE: I now know very long words like cardiothuracic (A doctor that specialises in hearts and chests) and craniotomy (surgical removal of piece of skull from ones brain)

Please make sure you dont do what I did and marathon nearly a season every two days. I had a dream that I needed a craniotomy the other day because I had a bleed on my brain. It was terrifying and I now wear a seatbelt everywhere I go (in a car obviously).

Activity #2: Watching things about cats.

Yes, I should be a crazy lady. I feel like in about 20 years or so, I may end up living in a tiny flat with 10 cats with names that begin with the same letter and I dont have an issue with this. I mean, its not a bad life to live. Anyhow, if you have me on facebook then you will see the amount of cat videos I share or that I'm tagged in. 

Activity #3: Tinder.

For any of you that live under a rock and dont know what this is, it is a dating app. This app is super simple and mainly frowned upon. Why? Because its usually used for hooking up with someone that lives in your area. Im not saying I use it for that reason in the slightest, but it is highly addictive and can get very distracting. Ive had this app for nearly three years on and off and Ive been on one date, which was this summer. However, since coming back to Cheltenham my addiction is out of control, which has been proven since I have matched with a 46 year old, through no fault of my own (Blame Emily) 

I hope you enjoyed this silly little blog post.

TTYL,

Kirst x

Pet peeves and the best traits

Have you ever thought about what really annoys you about certain people? 

Like, imagine one of your favourite people in the world? You love spending time with them, in fact you go out of your way to hang out with them and then BANG: They start to do something that really annoys you. Something that you never noticed about them until you started to get to know them properly. This is something that I started to think about today whilst I was in work. I thought I would share a few of these with readers today. I'm going to do my favourite traits in people aswell (please note the title) just so this post isnt too negative. 

Im also going to stick a little recommendation at the bottom of this post from a band called Photo Finish. Theyre super good and kind of remind me of a mix of All Time Low and early Fall Out Boy. 

Pet peeves:

1. selfishness - Ok, so in a past blog post i've said before that a bit of selfishness is necessary and I still stick to that but when it comes to people suffering for you being a selfish twat, thats when I start to get annoyed and angry. At some stage, theres got to be a point where you have to say to yourself, "Christ, maybe I need to start considering changing myself because other people are getting upset because of how I act?" Right? 

2. Shouting - This isnt just something that annoys me from others, honestly I do it myself and I just think "WHY KIRSTEN? WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO SHOUT?!" Sometimes, I genuinely do it by accident. Like, if you know me and I feel comfortable around you, then we've passed the stage where I probably will get overly loud and I probably need a kick in the shins to calm me down. However, when other people do it, especially when I'm in a bad mood then all I want to do is walk away from you and not talk to you for a couple of days. 

3. Blokes that rub themselves up against you or touch you inappropriately in clubs - Its sleazy and disgusting and any guy that does it needs a punch in the nose. Why do guys think its ok to grind against a girls bum when they're just trying to have a nice time. By all means dance with a girl, im not saying thats a bad thing. But, then the guy is behind there girl full on thrusting against their arse, it gets tedious and makes me feel slightly sick. Its extremely presumptuous and frankly pretty minging. 

4. People who take forever to text back - Ok, I understand some people are busy and sometimes I have to remind myself of that but if you're in the middle of a conversation then either tell the recipient that you're busy or don't carry on a conversation with them until you're free. I swear there is nothing worse than waiting for a reply to a text that just says "How are you?" or maybe even "Whats up?" those types of texts need minimal replying to, and takes 2 seconds. If I can make the effort, then why cant you buddy?

5. People who talk with their mouths full - I do not want half of your mouthful of food in front of me because you've spat it at me during your sentence. Use the manners you were brought up with and swallow before you speak, even if it takes a couple of seconds. The person you're speaking to isnt going to mind.

Favourite traits

1.  Honesty - people who tell the truth are the best people to keep around simply because you know where you are with them at all times. I hate people who play games. It kind of breaks my tiny little heart

2. Enthusiasm - I think enthusiasm for a specific thing is so so cute! Like, if a person is excited about something and you're on those people that try to take the piss because theyre excited, then you are a seriously bad person. 

I think im going to leave it there for traits and annoyances. 

However, as promised.

Here is the link for Photo Finishes sound cloud. Please go and take a gander, they released their first song called "I dont think that means what you think it means" and their cover of All Time Low's "Time Bomb" 

https://soundcloud.com/photofinishband 

Thats all for now, folks.

TTYL,

Kirst x

Anxiety sucks.

Hi guys.

 I thought i'd do a little blog on anxiety and the repercussions of it. I've watched a bunch of my friends have several panic/anxiety attacks in my life. However. I've only really understood what they were when I started getting them myself

I've never been a nervous person. Actually, overall I would say I'm quite self-confident person but being put into such a terrifying position of moving away from home and put into a small flat where im expected to make friends with the people im living with clearly changed that.  Just to clarify, for the large part this wasn't an awful thing, im just not very good at making new friends so to be forced into doing such was just like throwing me into the deep end as such.

The reason i'm writing about this is because last night, I was very close to having a panic attack. 

Against my better judgement, I decided to go and see a friend quite late at night. As if that wasnt enough to be nervous, I had to walk to his. He lives at least half an hour away from me for a normal sized person. At one point, I got lost which ended up in me being a stressed mess by the time I reached his. 

For the rest of the night, I genuinely couldnt relax and I dont know why. He said to me "Can you just relax? You being like this is making me feel uneasy and uncomfortable" Sounds like a bit of a douchebag thing to say doesnt it? He was completely unaware to what situation I was in but him saying that made me feel like utter cack , just because me being stressy was making someone I care about feel uncomfortable about being in my presence. After around about an hour of this happening, said person did manage to calm me down, by talking about Spanish people and beer of all things.

A lot of people link anxiety/panic attacks with not being able to breathe or rocking back and forth in a corner, but its so much more than that. I saw this post on tumblr a few weeks a go, and it gave me quite a lot to think about.

There are several things about people that know nothing about anxiety tend to do, and which admittedly, I used to do to people that really bug me out.

DONT:

• Tell the person to calm down; he or she doesnt have that control at that specific point
• Please dont get frustrated with that person, it'll probably make things worse.
• It' takes a long time for someone to get over whatever theyre stressed about for the large part; please dont expect a massive turnaround over night

DOS:

• If that person needs you to sit with them, its not always necessary for you to talk. Just be there. They'll talk if they want to
• Let them know you're there to talk if they need to.
• Get them whatever they need. I once sat up with a drunk friend until 5am because they were having a panic attack. I made her a cup of tea, and sat there.

I hope thats helped some people.

Just to clarify that are so many sites that can help if someone you know, or you yourself is suffering with anxiety.

http://urlmin.com/mind0

http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/anxiety.asp

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anxiety/Pages/self-help.aspx

TTYL,

Kirst x

3 things I know to be true: summer blues

Hi guys! :-)

Im back with another one of these blogs. I thought i'd do a little post about what i've come to realise over the summer. I thought i'd put it out there that im probably going to be blogging a hell of a lot more seeing as i've got a new macbook! It is now my new baby and ive fallen well and truly in love with it. Its making my netflix addiction a hell of a lot worse though seeing as I now have access to a larger screen and american netflix as well as british! 

I've done a few of these posts previously so im just going to link them here - [1] [2] [3]

1. I wasnt born to be in retail.

Over the summer I was blessed to be given a job back where I used to work, except on a concession. Lacoste to be exact. When I say blessed, I genuinely mean it. I honestly dont think I've ever had so much fun working, that includes bar work (which I loved) Im currently covering for my manager who has just had two little boys arrive. Im working 5 days a week and im so glad to not be home sat on my arse. To make things a little bit better, this job is paying for me to go to Amsterdam in January. However, it has reminded me how much I dislike the human race. Customers can be some of the worst people and can 100% spoil my mood. I wish I could say its usually the older generation that are rude, but its usually middle aged people who don't know what the hell manners are. E.G - A lady came in for a refund the other day, she asked me to help, so I told her I could, providing what it was. Her reply "Just a couple of bits" I said to her, "Ok, thats no worries, have you got your receipt?" Baring in mind here - people cannot return ladies wear to mens wear. Everything she had was ladieswear. I told her she actually couldn't return them in the mens section. She politely told me that i should stop interfering in the worst tone imaginable. I was gobsmacked. The woman waiting for her husband to try on clothes could believe the audacity of her. 

Rule one of retail: Dont go in to the business if you have a really quick temper. 

2. I miss Cheltenham. 

This time last year I really didnt want to go back, which is weird because i'm now hankering to go back to Cheltenham so bad. Literally because I miss the vibe of the place so bad. I miss Pitville park and Hannah, Ryan and Emily a hell of a lot. I went up at the end of June to see a friend but didn't get to see a lot of Cheltenham which makes me super sad. The only thing is that because next year will need a lot of attention, I wont get to come home a lot, so I wont get to see Cathy a hell of a lot which makes me sad. I also wont get to see my little slag, Jenny. Honestly, I also miss being at uni. I miss going to gigs and seeing some of the POM's perform. Im pretty stoked for this year as i'm going to be helping out with putting the gigs on for the ALT music society,  I get to put on my own event with a few of my favourite people and I already have a few ideas for both.

3. Homeware shopping is the most fun ive had since coming back. 

I wish this was a joke, seriously. Im not though. When i go back to university in September, I will be moving into a flat with Hannah and Emily and I decided to get all new stuff! So that means new duvet covers, new plate patterns, new glasses everything! Im turning into an old dear at the ripe old age of 22. 

Thats it for now I think. 

TTYL,

Kirst x

Dear stranger..

Hello.

I had a pretty awful day at work the other day so the only thing I could think of to cheer myself up was to have a wander around Waterstones. I wasnt really intending to buy anything as I didnt really need a new book. I literally have just decided to re-read the Game of Thrones series. 

I was just about to walk out of the store when I spotted a book called "Dear Stranger"

"Dear Stranger" is a book of letters from different people that are signed to Penguin Publishers. It includes inspirational letters to imagined strangers about different

Although the book cost me £12.99 which is a good fiver more than books usually cost, they donate £3.00 to "Mind" a mental health charity. They provide advice and support to people who suffer from a number of mental health issues. They also do their best to raise awareness for this problem. 

So far, since I bought the books, i've read 3 letters from various authors and tv personalities including Fiona Phillips, Rachael Joyce and Francesca Martinez. My favourite letter so far has to be from Francesca Martinez simply because I could relate to it the most. 

"A pain-free life doesnt exist. And if thats what you're after, try not to love. Because love will always come to an end and that end will hurt. When my grandma died, I wept for weeks. Misery wrapped me in its cold arms and there I stayed. Then, it dawned on me that I was devastated simply because I loved her. Had I not loved her, I would not have shaken with tears. I mourned her because she meant so much to me. That pain would have been less if she had been less loving, less giving, less affectionate And I realised that, in some way, the grief was the price to pay for love"

Can you see why this letter is my favourite now? obviously this is only a paragraph from the whole letter but its incredible how much this letter could mean to someone whose feeling a bit down, or has just lost someone, or going through something at the moment. 

Another letter I have read isnt really a letter I've read which makes me even the slightest bit happy is by Nicholas Allen who drew a comic strip of what made him happy at different stages of his life. I suppose thinking of things that make you happy or used to make you happy at stages of your life can be quite therapeutic. I know whenever I go over things that used to make me happy, a tiny smile seems to form on my face. Things like memories from freshers, songs from way back when, photos from when you had to use a disposable camera rather than taking a picture of your phone.

There are several things that make me happy when im feeling down.

The Wanted: I know what people are thinking. "oh wow, what even was she thinking being into a boyband??" Trust me, now ive grown up a bit Ive kind of grown out of it, but at the time, there was nothing better than being at one of their gigs, or buying on of their songs. One of my favourite memories was going to one of their radio tours and meeting my favourite. He wrote on my boobs, and kind of prevented little fangirls from pushing me over! I specifically remember him saying "You're welsh? You dont sound very welsh"

This band does have more significance than me just having a good time at one of their gigs. It just so happens that I met two of my best friends at one of their gigs. Hannah and Shannon. In fact, its our 3 year anniversary this Saturday. 

Fusion festival - 2013.

I also mentioned songs bringing back memories and a small smile forming on my very grumpy mug. Theres about 3 songs that I cant listen to without getting s bit sad. These would be:

1. I Dont Care - Icona Pop
2. Dont Go - Wretch 32
3. We Own The Night - The Wanted.

I think thats enough rambling for one blog post.

I hope you enjoyed this!

Honestly, if youve enjoyed this, I recommend you go and buy the book. 

TTYL,

Kirst x

Ten things im trying to accept.

Hello.

Told you i'd be back with a new blog post over the weekend, didn't I?

I feel like this blog is slowly turning into one of those self help blogs and i'm not sure i'm ok with that. However, this is just because its coming to the end of the semester, and technically this is meant to be a blog about university.

Anyway, I thought i'd do a blog post about some things i'm currently trying to accept about life.

1. Not everything is going to go your way. 
2. Not every guy is going to like you. You just have to find a guy that likes you for you.
3. Its ok sometimes to think about yourself. If you think you deserve a new pair of £40 Topshop jeans, then just do it. God knows that a pretty new pair of jeans makes me so happy.
4. People will talk about you. Whether its good things or bad things. Thats life and thats ok. It doesn't mean they love you any less. 
5. People have good days and bad days. Just because someone has snapped at you, doesn't mean its your fault. They could just be having an awful day. You've just got to try and be there. They may need a friend more than you need to not be shouted at. Similarly, if someone does go at you for no reason whatsoever, 8 times out of 10, the reasons aren't your fault. 
6. Don't ever change for anyone. If someone is going to love you, it should be for you, not for someone who they think you are.
7. There is nothing better than staying in bed, listening to cheesy music with a cup of tea and a good book. 
8. Its not your job to keep people happy. Trust me, its impossible. Look after yourself before anyone else.
9. Its completely fine to disagree with someone. If you dont agree with someones opinion of something, don't feel like you should stay quiet about it. If you feel the need to disagree, then do it!!!
10. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. So what if you've gained an extra couple of pounds? What does it matter that you've had a break out on your forehead? This doesn't make you any less beautiful and you should NEVER let anyone tell you any different. Being told you aren't beautiful doesn't make you an awful person, it makes the other person awful.

Thats it.

TTYL,

Kirst x

5000 reads and finishing second year.

Whats up, what up, what uppppppp!

This blog post is in aid of reaching 5000 reads, but also because after Thursday my second year will finally be done. 

I'm not going to lie, this year has been hard. 

Work wise, and living wise. 

I've always been told "second year is the hardest, you need to knuckle down and get working"

I never took it seriously, so obviously i'm sat here now, lacking the motivation to even start my last assignment. So what did I decide to do? Reminisce on the past year.

Obviously ive just said the work load was ridiculous and its also made me hate the human race more than anyone can imagine. However, it's also made me love it a bit more. Contradictory, I know. 

Last year, Emily, Ellie and I got told that people thought we hated everyone because we never spoke to anyone. God knows thats changed.

I think this is the first year of my entire life where i've actually made an effort to talk to people that im surrounded by and I'm quite proud of that fact. Not only have I met some absolutely fantastic people this year, I can now class a select few of them as good friends. I'm hoping if those people read this, they'll realise that i'm on about them.

I also became a part of a society, which I actually really enjoy. I've had the chance to listen and to get to know some of the most amazing musicians. 

Although I can't wait to get away from Cheltenham for the summer, I'm gonna miss my Chelt family so much. Im also very eager to move into my new flat next year. 

I think we already have some pretty sweet ideas, and I GET A DOUBLE BED! 

Next year is going to be my last year in university. 

How mad is that?

I can honestly remember the days where:

1. I visited the university for my applicant day.  That was the first day I met Emily.
2. I actually got into university. I screamed the house down.
3. I moved in. 

Its been such a weird couple of years, and i'm still not sure how I feel about them. Obviously I've met some of the most lovely people, grown as a person and learn to become at least a tiny bit independent. But a part of me still wonders what I would be doing if I never came to uni, if I never moved to Cheltenham. Would I be the person I am now?

Guess I'll never find out. 

Thats is for now.

My next post will more than likely be on the weekend to tell you about my birthday!

TTYL, 

Kirst x

Im getting old.

Hey :-)

I need to stop going doing this.

By doing this, I do mean deciding to start an essay then remembering I have a blog.

The other day whilst walking home from propaganda I realised that in two thursdays time I'm going to be 22. This is terrifying for me.

22 is that age where you actually have to start acting like an adult and I realise that I don't actually do that because although I should be in that stage where i'm looking for somewhere to live on my own, with a full time job and looking to be in a relationship rather than just messing around because thats what other 22 year olds do, right?

I was thinking, even if im not looking to live on my own, if im not in a full time job, and im not ready to be a girlfriend.. What should I be doing?

Thats what birthday's are about, i'm pretty sure. realising that things should change from last year, because you're now a year older. 

I could go on about how I'm going to stop drinking so much. How i'm going to start eating a healthy, balanced diet. How i'm gonna start to improve my brain because lets be real, that DEFINITELY needs improving. But lets be real here, how many times have I said that and not done it.

I still drink just as much, i'm never going to stop eating shit while i'm in uni and my brain is going to stay just as silly. So what can I do?

The age old question, how can I improve myself?

I could go on to say my usual things, that make me look like Im extremely hard on myself, these ones:

1. Im going to stop judging people
2. How i'm going to try to be nicer
3. How i'm going to do more for other people, rather than myself.

Honestly, these ones are the first ones that came to mind, just because they're probably the easiest. Ive decided that these ones are probably more worth my time and effort.

• Stop being a mug, especially this month. As some of you know, May is deadline month. All I can say is that I am suffering. So bad. I am hardly sleeping, being in uni nearly every day, along with work, so my sleeping pattern, for less of a better phrase, is fucked and my diet is pathetic. I have literally no energy for nothing, so when I have time to myself, I need it. I need to learn the word no is what im trying to say.
• I need to start looking after myself better.  From the last paragraph you read, clearly im not good at this. So over the summer, im going to join the gym and just try to start being healthy. I also need to start looking after my head aswell. Without sounding like a complete attention whore, I keep having panic attacks whilst in clubs. I almost had one on Thursday, which is mainly why I left at 1:30am.. 
• I also need to tell people when I feel they're wrong. Recently, I have come to realise that I'm made out to be the douchebag in quite a few situations. I need to start arguing my case rather than let people walk all over me. 

I think thats it for now.

Hope you enjoyed this little piece of procrastination.

Hope a good week. :-)

TTYL,

Kirst x

P.S.. This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post but at the moment, this is exactly how im feeling. Because apparently its not ok for me to judge guys on how good I think they look, but its ok for them to stare at my boobs during a conversation with me. 

:You go Lisa Kudrow. 

3 things I know to be true; I need help with life.

Hi guys.

Its that time of the month where I do those dreaded "Three things I know to be true"

This months ones are probably going to be more uni related.

3 Things I know to be true.

• I am the ultimate procrastinator. 

I have SOOOO much freaking work due in over the next week and by the title of this section, you can guess what I've been doing. Procrastination. I spent 5 hours the other day cleaning. Not just my room, but the kitchen and the bathroom. They did need to be done, but I honestly only cleaned them to get out of doing my 4000 word essay due in on Tuesday. Doing work that I know will take me forever is my worst nightmare. Also, I don't care very much for this module. It is LAME! 

I have started my other essays, its just this one I'm struggling with, so hard. 

• I need to stop judging people so much

Being a judgemental little bitch is going to come back to bite me on the ass one of these days. I don't mean to be, it just happens. Its usually people I know as well. Im an awful person and I've come to terms with this. I am trying super hard to correct this about myself, its just proving to be quite hard. 

I realised this the other day when someone actually realised that I judge them quite hard. At this point, I was aware that I had done it, what I hadn't realised that I'm quite obvious with my judgements. If anyone ever feels like I judge them, Im really sorry. I am learning slowly. 

(I feel like, at this point, I'm starting to sound like someone from Mean Girls. You know that bit where they all stand on a stage and tell people what they've done wrong?)

• I need to tell people that I appreciate them more

I am 100% sure that people know how much I appreciate them however I feel like letting them know a lot more is necessary. As some of you know, I have an accidental tendency to be a complete bitch, distant and clingy at separate intervals. The people around me put up with my awful personality and for that I am so grateful. Sometimes, I forget to tell those people. So, if you know that I mean you. Thank you! I owe you a massive hug. 

Thats it. I know its a bit of a short one.

Again, this is another form of procrastination. 

Thanks for reading. 

TTYL,

Kirst x

Drowning.

Hi guys. :-)

I thought i'd do a blog post on what's been happening the past week or so.

• The last time I uploaded something like this was easter so since then

I went home. It wasnt for very long but it was nice to see my mum and brother nevertheless. I took Hannah and Emily down with me and went out which wasnt the best idea ive ever head. Emily and I went to propaganda the night before, so we were both shattered and Hannah wasn't feeling great. However, the next day we went and got 5 guys which definitely was the best idea ever. We also met a really nice bloke on the night out, who reminded us severely of Ryan. His name was Sam, and was a 31 year old doctor. I mean he also had an absolutely lovely face, but that is besides the point.

• We went to see Age of Ultron. I wont leave any spoilers here because I'm sure i'll get murdered brutally. Just know that it was freaking great and so worth going to see. It's probably not even necessary to see the first Avengers film, even though you should because that is just as good. It was also a really good day, just to clarify. Hannah, Ryan, Emily and I went to play pool first, and we found out that Ryan was a boss at playing (He can do trick shots and all sorts) I first played a solo game with Emily, which I won. Then we paired up and I went with Ryan. Ryan potted the white and black ball so Hannah and Emily won. We then went to the cinema, minus Ryan but plus one of our props friends, Chris. We sat their for a good hour waiting for the film to come on, only to find out that the cinema screen had broken. We got upgraded to 3D and a free cinema ticket. I mean, I would have been angry but I spent nearly the whole hour laughing so it wasnt too bad.

• It was the last social of the year on Saturday and Emily and I worked the door. Turns out we arent great to collect money when we're drinking. However, thanks to Hannah and Ryan being there I suppose we did an alright job. It was a sick night anyway. Katie Collins, Maxine Stacey, Ben Cipolla and Spice and the Readies played and as per usual they all had sick sets despite the fact that half of them were ill. We then went to 2 Pigs and actually socialized which was weird. I mean, it got MASSIVELY packed and we ended up staying in the smoking area. We also had to walk home a very drunk fresher. He made me give him a piggy back then fell off me. 

• We got one of our assignments out of the way. I only put it in that way because it went awful. I wish we could actually say that we didnt have enough material but I would be lying. It was a twenty minute presentation, and while I was half way through my section our lecturer told us we had 3 minutes left. I was mortified. However, after it finished Ellie, Emily and I went and had shots and pints in the SU and stumbled home half cut. 

• Ive spent a couple of afternoons in the park. It sounds so simple, but Pitville Park makes me far too happy. Its such a pretty park, and it has ducks and things. Its just a really nice park to walk around. So if any of you get the chance to take me, do it. You'll have an extremely happy Kirsten on your hands. 

I havnt really done much else but go out drinking, go to work placement and go to uni. I realised while looking through my recent posts that I havnt done my 5 little happies for a while so I thought I'd include them in this post aswell. I apologise in advance:

1. Carly Rae Jepsen has just released a new song. I know what you're all thinking or internally shouting at me.. "Kirsten, get some music taste!!!" However, if you have seen the music video for said song, you'll understand whole-heartedly. It involves Tom Hanks. Hes not my favourite actor, but he makes the whole video actually really good. I hate that im saying this, but its also a really catchy song. Like, the lyrics are so simple but I just really enjoy dancing around to it when im doing my make-up                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
2. Tumblr. Mostly the Chris Hemsworth tag. Im not sure this really needs an explanation. I just really enjoy looking at his face at the moment. Especially when hes playing Thor.
3. Once Upon a Time. If any of you watch this, you'll understand the feels. For whoever doesnt, get onto it. Theyre going through a Villains phase at the moment, so they're explaining the back stories of Maleficent, Cruella De Ville and Ursella. 
4. I have recently purchased a beautiful pair of Topshop sunglasses and I absolutely love them. Theyre a bit too big for my face, but I genuinely give no shits. Theyre navy and beautiful.
5. Hazelnut Machiatos from Starbucks. 

Thats it, I reckon. 

Hope you enjoyed this post. 

TTYL,

Kirst x

P.S: The reason for the title is that currently, im drowning in a mountain of uni work so I thought it was relevant. It probably isnt but who cares.

Positive minds live positive lives.

Hi, hi, hi :-)

I was on tumblr today (Too many of my blog posts start with this line) and saw something that got me thinking. The picture said, "How do you define yourself?" I started thinking about how I would define myself. I have been asked to describe myself in 3 words so often and the answers I usually come up with are "Giggly, loud and chatty" because thats what you do right? You build yourself up to other people so they don't see you as you would see yourself.

I mean, if I were truthful to people those 3 adjectives are definitely not what I would use to describe myself. What I'm trying to get at here is, I don't understand why the majority of ourselves would describe ourselves negatively. 

The 3 words I would probably describe myself truthfully are probably

1. Dull - I usually cannot see the appeal of wanting to keep a conversation with me going. I know that sounds awful and a lot of you would be thinking, why the hell am I reading this? This just sounds like another blog post where people start to think negatively of themselves because Kirsten has decided to do the same. I don't mean to make you feel like that I promise. Thats just how I see it. I sometimes find it extremely hard to carry a conversation, not because I'm not interested in what you have to say, but because I just generally cannot find the words to reply with. 
2. Attitudy - Again, another thing that I don't mean to be but sometimes it just happens. I generally feel like I need someone with me at all times to poke me when I'm being a stroppy little cow, because I don't know when I'm doing it. 
3. Sad - Again, another one of things where it looks like I'm being an attention seeking twat. Im not, its just how I would describe myself. Like, obviously I'm not sad ALL the time. But A lot of things make me sad. I don't like being left on my own for too long, I get really sad if I feel like I'm annoying people, which in turn starts me over thinking (please tell me other people do this).

This is why I've decided to start writing down the things that make me happy in a day. 

Today so far, Ive watched an episode of Top Gear which has had two really great things in. 

1) Richard Hammond

2)Maclaren MP4-12C [x] - click here to see the most beautiful car in the world. 

It's also a really beautiful day, so theres another positive thing. 

Also, its 7 days till I get to go home. Yay.

I'm just going to point out that I am trying to be a more positive person but when you've been negative you're whole life to save yourself being disappointed, its a really hard habit to break.  

Thats it, I think. 

Hope you all have a wonderful day.

TTYL,

Kirst x

A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset

Hi, hi,0 hi! 

Its only going to be a short one today.

Since people have left, ive literally done nothing. Ive gone to work placement, gone to actual work, gone to uni and slept. Sometimes I do need that because a exhausted Kirsten isnt a Kirsten people enjoy. But for this moment, I just need interaction. Like, dont get me wrong ive been as sociable as I can be given the circumstances. But from going from living with 6 other people, plus going to lectures and going out nearly every week to doing sod all is so hard, and kind of makes me feel a bit shit. 

For a couple of days, ive seen one of my favourite bloggers, Sprinkle of Glitter doing "10 mini happies" and thought doing this might benefit myself, as i'm finding it hard to stay happy at the moment. I'm thinking I might do this like a couple of times a week (lets see how long this carries on for) 

Im going to do 5, instead of 10. 

Here goes.

1. In work placement today, the managers dogs came into the office and one of them(A really hairy border collie) came and sat next to me for a good 10 minutes. I havnt had any proper animal interations for a good 3 months so it was lovely. 
2. I had the BEST shower when I got home, and I now smell of lemonade courtesy of Soap and Glory Sugar Crush. Its such a good smell. I also did a facemask and stuff and now my face feels lovely.
3. I stopped in tescos on the way home and bought some Jaffa Cake cookies, theyre extremely good. But I did counteract these cookies by only eating 2 apples today and a bottle of water today. 
4. I turned my tv on just in time to watch "27 dresses" which is one of the best films. It has Katherine Heigl in, who is one of my favourite actresses.
5. I spoke to my mamma and Cardiff friends today about when I go home next week, which im suuuuuuper excited about. Its going to be a great time. 

Well there you have it.

I might upload another one on Thursday/Friday.

We'll see.

Thats all folks, 

TTYL,

Kirst x

Count your life by smiles, not tears - John Lennon.

Hi :-)

I thought I'd do blog on happiness for you.

Why people feel happy, and what makes me happy.

I feel like i've already done a blog on what makes me happy but ah well. 

Deal with it!

hap•pi•ness

 (ˈhæp i nɪs) 

n.

1. the quality or state of being happy.

2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

This is the definition on www.freedictionary.com

Yes, I had to google it. You know those days where you just don't have a clue why you're happy? Well thats how I felt this morning. I just couldn't pinpoint it. I didn't particularly have a great sleep. Yesterday wasn't that great either. I mean, I didn't have an AWFUL day, it just wasn't great. I found myself wondering why? Then I thought, maybe my mood is just foreshadowing today. And I can tell you, I have had a pretty good day so far. Well, I haven't come across anything that has pissed me off, or made me that teeniest bit sad. 

Im currently sat in a room, procrastination from doing any type of work, listening to one of the best playlists I've ever put together, drinking my second coffee, and looking at clothes that I can't afford. 

Why this is making me feel slightly more content I don't know? I genuinely can't explain it. 

I was reading this site on defining happiness and apparently it is actually possible, and researchers have actually been trying to prove this. Crazy right? 

They also have a framework for doing this.

They say that:

1) Happiness is made up of pleasure, engagement and meaning

2) It involves daily positive emotions, and a global sense that life is worthwhile

3) People can accurately reply their own levels of happiness

According to another website, happiness is when your life fulfills your needs. Now I've read that, I'm thinking, do we all have the same needs? I mean for me to feel fully happy I know what I would need. Like, have you ever thought about what your perfect day would be? If you could have, or do ANYTHING to ensure your happiness. What would you do?

Kirsten's perfect day:

• Wake up to breakfast in bed (From anyone, I'm not fussy)
• Have a bath.
• Go to the beach (assuming its sunny) 
• Come home, have cwtches with a kitten or ten. 
• Go shopping with my mam
• Have Nandos
• Go out drinking with my friends.

That day doesn't even seem too elaborate to me. Of course there could be a lot higher maintenance things in there, like maybe go to a foreign country or go and meet my favourite band. But since coming to University, I've realised that simple things like that are my absolute favourite things. 

Im now going to explain the 15 things that would make me excruciatingly happy.

1. Kittens. I am SUCH a cat lady it hurts. If someone wanted to put me in a room full of cats for my 22nd, you'd be my favourite person

2. Bubble baths with my favourite radox smell (Its the sleep easy one)

3. spending time with my family and friends

4. Sleep. This one is actually crucial to me being happy. I need at least 8 hours. 

5. Good make-up/hair days

6. Online shopping

7. Cwtches. 

8. Good lectures. Experience tells me that bad lectures = bad days. 

9. Scrolling through tumblr. This is mine []

10. Finding new bands. Todays new band is called "Cute is what we aim for" and if you like pop punk they will definitely be for you.

11. Inside jokes. "So, these walls ey?"

12. Lists.

13. Male attention. If anyone says any difference, id say they were either crazy or lying.

14. Completing a tv show I've been marathoning for ages (makes me equally as sad)

15. Blog writing.

Thats it, I reckon.

If you have me on Facebook, or follow me on twitter i'd be interested in finding out what things make you happy.

Thanks for reading.

TTYL,

Kirst x