Im getting old.

Hey :-)

I need to stop going doing this.

By doing this, I do mean deciding to start an essay then remembering I have a blog.

The other day whilst walking home from propaganda I realised that in two thursdays time I'm going to be 22. This is terrifying for me.

22 is that age where you actually have to start acting like an adult and I realise that I don't actually do that because although I should be in that stage where i'm looking for somewhere to live on my own, with a full time job and looking to be in a relationship rather than just messing around because thats what other 22 year olds do, right?

I was thinking, even if im not looking to live on my own, if im not in a full time job, and im not ready to be a girlfriend.. What should I be doing?

Thats what birthday's are about, i'm pretty sure. realising that things should change from last year, because you're now a year older. 

I could go on about how I'm going to stop drinking so much. How i'm going to start eating a healthy, balanced diet. How i'm gonna start to improve my brain because lets be real, that DEFINITELY needs improving. But lets be real here, how many times have I said that and not done it.

I still drink just as much, i'm never going to stop eating shit while i'm in uni and my brain is going to stay just as silly. So what can I do?

The age old question, how can I improve myself?

I could go on to say my usual things, that make me look like Im extremely hard on myself, these ones:

1. Im going to stop judging people
2. How i'm going to try to be nicer
3. How i'm going to do more for other people, rather than myself.

Honestly, these ones are the first ones that came to mind, just because they're probably the easiest. Ive decided that these ones are probably more worth my time and effort.

• Stop being a mug, especially this month. As some of you know, May is deadline month. All I can say is that I am suffering. So bad. I am hardly sleeping, being in uni nearly every day, along with work, so my sleeping pattern, for less of a better phrase, is fucked and my diet is pathetic. I have literally no energy for nothing, so when I have time to myself, I need it. I need to learn the word no is what im trying to say.
• I need to start looking after myself better.  From the last paragraph you read, clearly im not good at this. So over the summer, im going to join the gym and just try to start being healthy. I also need to start looking after my head aswell. Without sounding like a complete attention whore, I keep having panic attacks whilst in clubs. I almost had one on Thursday, which is mainly why I left at 1:30am.. 
• I also need to tell people when I feel they're wrong. Recently, I have come to realise that I'm made out to be the douchebag in quite a few situations. I need to start arguing my case rather than let people walk all over me. 

I think thats it for now.

Hope you enjoyed this little piece of procrastination.

Hope a good week. :-)

TTYL,

Kirst x

P.S.. This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post but at the moment, this is exactly how im feeling. Because apparently its not ok for me to judge guys on how good I think they look, but its ok for them to stare at my boobs during a conversation with me. 

:You go Lisa Kudrow.