Tuesday 4 November 2014

Trying to be happy.



This is going to be a bit of a weird post.
I apologize if its not to your taste but I felt a burning desire to write it this morning.
Its about trying to make yourself happy.
This post is also going to be quite a personal one.

I saw one of my favourite bloggers writing a blog about fresh starts and stuff, which gave me the idea to write this. If you want to go and read it, shes at this link
Go and have a read, its a decent blog.
So lets get down to it.
The reason ive written a blog on "trying to be happy" is because im struggling at the moment. Really hard.
 I found a short quote on tumblr, the other day. Which I feel could describe me accurately.

"She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad, and that's important" - Marilyn Monroe
Ive been trying my hardest to make myself happy. Which includes getting obliterated, which didn't work out so well. If you've seen me lately, you'll have seen how messed up I look. To the point where I got asked if I was in an accident. ITS NOT AS BAD AS THAT!
I have a bit of a black eye, a stupidly bruised wrist, and a couple of other large bruises dotted around my body.
At the time, im sure I had a great time (I cant remember much of the night) however, I woke up in the morning completely miserable. I didnt really even have much of a hangover, I just wasnt happy with myself.
The same happened last monday, minus the bruises and blackouts. I realised over the weekend, I should probably stop drinking. But thinking about it, am I really going to do that? Unlikely.
So I wrote a list last night of things that potentially make me happy, even if it is for a short time and I thought I would share a few with you. If these things could help me be happy for a short period of time, im sure they can help someone else.

1. Obviously, my mum was going to number one on my list. Going home, or even speaking to her on the phone makes my mood a bit better always. It just makes me feel like I can take a breathe of relief knowing shes there, and she always will be, no matter how much I fuck up.

2. My friends. Again, they were always going to be on this list. But honestly, I did only mean a handful of friends, and if they were smart they'd know I meant them. Certain friends of mine always make me feel more relaxed when im around them, like I can just sit there quitely and listen to them jabber on about complete shit and I dont have to say a word. When im in a certain type of mood, I can only be around certain friends, who dont act like complete tools when together.

3. Singing really loudly and dancing like an idiot. If people knew me then they'd know that those 2 things come as a package with me. Its definitely uncontrollable. I cant do either, but it definitely helps me release steam. Usually, the music will be something completely ridiculous like Busted or even Abba because, as everyone knows, they're so easy to dance to. Doing this probably isnt up everyones street, but trust me, it helps so much. Just lock your door.

4. This one is going to be really shallow. I REALLY enjoy knowing that my boobs look good in a top or dress that im wearing. It sounds so stupid but its such a confidence booster. Especially because they're my most potent asset. Obviously, if it were you, you would want your best feature to look amazing. Well, thats the same with me.

5. Next one is a bit weird. I really enjoy going to work. Like, being surrounded by overly drunk people serving them drinks takes my mind off the shit that goes on in there. Its literally like an escape.

6. Having a good cry has to go on here. It sounds so weird but let me put you into a scenario. Imagine that you've had a really crappy day. You argued with your best friend, or you had a really shitty customer in work and you come home and you dont know whether you feel upset or angry. You walk into your bedroom, and you just start crying. You dont know why, you just cry. When you finish, how much better do you feel? Like, you're ready to face making up with said best friend, or you want to go into work and prove yourself. It feels so much better.

7. Lazy days are the greatest. I have a lot of things on this list that ties in with this.
  • A good cup of tea
  • Fresh bedding
  • A bubble bath
  • Reading a good book. (Im currently reading Harry Potter)
  • Freshly painted nails
  • Watching disney films
  • Sleeping
8. Being at uni, I have decided, is a large factor in me having a good day. Especially the rare occurrence when I have a full day and theyre interesting lectures.
EG. Last monday, Ellie, Emily and I turned up for our E-Marketing lecture expecting a really shocking lecturer we have for this module. Which we got. However, she planned a really good lecture. It was all about online trust and what types of websites and people we should trust on the internet. This lead to talking about a blogger/youtuber who has recently become big, Zoella. The discussion was about whether people should trust her judgement on beauty products.

9. Im going to put two in one again because they both link. For my 21st birthday, Megan gave me a photo frame with  her favourite photo on Her, Eric and I in, and honestly, looking at it makes me smile because we were all a bit drunk and its such a lovely photo. It basically summed us 3 up last year

leading on from that, FaceTiming Megan is also on my list. If you didnt know, Megan and I were really close last year and it was one of the hardest things to do, saying goodbye when she went back to America. It just makes me feel a lot better knowing shes just a facetime away.

10. This is the most important, I feel. Being around people that are happy improves my mood tenfold. I find that happy people are ALWAYS optimistic. Negative vibes are the absolute worst when you aren't in a great mood. I find that positivity can raise happiness levels quite a bit. So surrounding yourself with happy people can have an affect on your life.

I know trying to cut things out of your life that makes you unhappy is really hard. Ive lived it, im STILL living it. Honestly, just work out what it is that makes you unhappy and start from there. I havnt actually made my angry/sad list just yet, but they will be made and I will start cutting the crap out of my life.
I found this website to help me with number 10, its helpful.

I really hope you enjoyed this blog.
Over the past few posts I have put up, I found that the more posts that were a bit more emotionally attached to me gets a lot more reads. So im going to try and do that.
Thank you so much for reading this.
It means a lot.
Kirst x



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