Ten things im trying to accept.

Hello.

Told you i'd be back with a new blog post over the weekend, didn't I?

I feel like this blog is slowly turning into one of those self help blogs and i'm not sure i'm ok with that. However, this is just because its coming to the end of the semester, and technically this is meant to be a blog about university.

Anyway, I thought i'd do a blog post about some things i'm currently trying to accept about life.

1. Not everything is going to go your way. 
2. Not every guy is going to like you. You just have to find a guy that likes you for you.
3. Its ok sometimes to think about yourself. If you think you deserve a new pair of £40 Topshop jeans, then just do it. God knows that a pretty new pair of jeans makes me so happy.
4. People will talk about you. Whether its good things or bad things. Thats life and thats ok. It doesn't mean they love you any less. 
5. People have good days and bad days. Just because someone has snapped at you, doesn't mean its your fault. They could just be having an awful day. You've just got to try and be there. They may need a friend more than you need to not be shouted at. Similarly, if someone does go at you for no reason whatsoever, 8 times out of 10, the reasons aren't your fault. 
6. Don't ever change for anyone. If someone is going to love you, it should be for you, not for someone who they think you are.
7. There is nothing better than staying in bed, listening to cheesy music with a cup of tea and a good book. 
8. Its not your job to keep people happy. Trust me, its impossible. Look after yourself before anyone else.
9. Its completely fine to disagree with someone. If you dont agree with someones opinion of something, don't feel like you should stay quiet about it. If you feel the need to disagree, then do it!!!
10. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. So what if you've gained an extra couple of pounds? What does it matter that you've had a break out on your forehead? This doesn't make you any less beautiful and you should NEVER let anyone tell you any different. Being told you aren't beautiful doesn't make you an awful person, it makes the other person awful.

Thats it.

TTYL,

Kirst x

5000 reads and finishing second year.

Whats up, what up, what uppppppp!

This blog post is in aid of reaching 5000 reads, but also because after Thursday my second year will finally be done. 

I'm not going to lie, this year has been hard. 

Work wise, and living wise. 

I've always been told "second year is the hardest, you need to knuckle down and get working"

I never took it seriously, so obviously i'm sat here now, lacking the motivation to even start my last assignment. So what did I decide to do? Reminisce on the past year.

Obviously ive just said the work load was ridiculous and its also made me hate the human race more than anyone can imagine. However, it's also made me love it a bit more. Contradictory, I know. 

Last year, Emily, Ellie and I got told that people thought we hated everyone because we never spoke to anyone. God knows thats changed.

I think this is the first year of my entire life where i've actually made an effort to talk to people that im surrounded by and I'm quite proud of that fact. Not only have I met some absolutely fantastic people this year, I can now class a select few of them as good friends. I'm hoping if those people read this, they'll realise that i'm on about them.

I also became a part of a society, which I actually really enjoy. I've had the chance to listen and to get to know some of the most amazing musicians. 

Although I can't wait to get away from Cheltenham for the summer, I'm gonna miss my Chelt family so much. Im also very eager to move into my new flat next year. 

I think we already have some pretty sweet ideas, and I GET A DOUBLE BED! 

Next year is going to be my last year in university. 

How mad is that?

I can honestly remember the days where:

1. I visited the university for my applicant day.  That was the first day I met Emily.
2. I actually got into university. I screamed the house down.
3. I moved in. 

Its been such a weird couple of years, and i'm still not sure how I feel about them. Obviously I've met some of the most lovely people, grown as a person and learn to become at least a tiny bit independent. But a part of me still wonders what I would be doing if I never came to uni, if I never moved to Cheltenham. Would I be the person I am now?

Guess I'll never find out. 

Thats is for now.

My next post will more than likely be on the weekend to tell you about my birthday!

TTYL, 

Kirst x

Im getting old.

Hey :-)

I need to stop going doing this.

By doing this, I do mean deciding to start an essay then remembering I have a blog.

The other day whilst walking home from propaganda I realised that in two thursdays time I'm going to be 22. This is terrifying for me.

22 is that age where you actually have to start acting like an adult and I realise that I don't actually do that because although I should be in that stage where i'm looking for somewhere to live on my own, with a full time job and looking to be in a relationship rather than just messing around because thats what other 22 year olds do, right?

I was thinking, even if im not looking to live on my own, if im not in a full time job, and im not ready to be a girlfriend.. What should I be doing?

Thats what birthday's are about, i'm pretty sure. realising that things should change from last year, because you're now a year older. 

I could go on about how I'm going to stop drinking so much. How i'm going to start eating a healthy, balanced diet. How i'm gonna start to improve my brain because lets be real, that DEFINITELY needs improving. But lets be real here, how many times have I said that and not done it.

I still drink just as much, i'm never going to stop eating shit while i'm in uni and my brain is going to stay just as silly. So what can I do?

The age old question, how can I improve myself?

I could go on to say my usual things, that make me look like Im extremely hard on myself, these ones:

1. Im going to stop judging people
2. How i'm going to try to be nicer
3. How i'm going to do more for other people, rather than myself.

Honestly, these ones are the first ones that came to mind, just because they're probably the easiest. Ive decided that these ones are probably more worth my time and effort.

• Stop being a mug, especially this month. As some of you know, May is deadline month. All I can say is that I am suffering. So bad. I am hardly sleeping, being in uni nearly every day, along with work, so my sleeping pattern, for less of a better phrase, is fucked and my diet is pathetic. I have literally no energy for nothing, so when I have time to myself, I need it. I need to learn the word no is what im trying to say.
• I need to start looking after myself better.  From the last paragraph you read, clearly im not good at this. So over the summer, im going to join the gym and just try to start being healthy. I also need to start looking after my head aswell. Without sounding like a complete attention whore, I keep having panic attacks whilst in clubs. I almost had one on Thursday, which is mainly why I left at 1:30am.. 
• I also need to tell people when I feel they're wrong. Recently, I have come to realise that I'm made out to be the douchebag in quite a few situations. I need to start arguing my case rather than let people walk all over me. 

I think thats it for now.

Hope you enjoyed this little piece of procrastination.

Hope a good week. :-)

TTYL,

Kirst x

P.S.. This picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post but at the moment, this is exactly how im feeling. Because apparently its not ok for me to judge guys on how good I think they look, but its ok for them to stare at my boobs during a conversation with me. 

:You go Lisa Kudrow. 

3 things I know to be true; I need help with life.

Hi guys.

Its that time of the month where I do those dreaded "Three things I know to be true"

This months ones are probably going to be more uni related.

3 Things I know to be true.

• I am the ultimate procrastinator. 

I have SOOOO much freaking work due in over the next week and by the title of this section, you can guess what I've been doing. Procrastination. I spent 5 hours the other day cleaning. Not just my room, but the kitchen and the bathroom. They did need to be done, but I honestly only cleaned them to get out of doing my 4000 word essay due in on Tuesday. Doing work that I know will take me forever is my worst nightmare. Also, I don't care very much for this module. It is LAME! 

I have started my other essays, its just this one I'm struggling with, so hard. 

• I need to stop judging people so much

Being a judgemental little bitch is going to come back to bite me on the ass one of these days. I don't mean to be, it just happens. Its usually people I know as well. Im an awful person and I've come to terms with this. I am trying super hard to correct this about myself, its just proving to be quite hard. 

I realised this the other day when someone actually realised that I judge them quite hard. At this point, I was aware that I had done it, what I hadn't realised that I'm quite obvious with my judgements. If anyone ever feels like I judge them, Im really sorry. I am learning slowly. 

(I feel like, at this point, I'm starting to sound like someone from Mean Girls. You know that bit where they all stand on a stage and tell people what they've done wrong?)

• I need to tell people that I appreciate them more

I am 100% sure that people know how much I appreciate them however I feel like letting them know a lot more is necessary. As some of you know, I have an accidental tendency to be a complete bitch, distant and clingy at separate intervals. The people around me put up with my awful personality and for that I am so grateful. Sometimes, I forget to tell those people. So, if you know that I mean you. Thank you! I owe you a massive hug. 

Thats it. I know its a bit of a short one.

Again, this is another form of procrastination. 

Thanks for reading. 

TTYL,

Kirst x

Drowning.

Hi guys. :-)

I thought i'd do a blog post on what's been happening the past week or so.

• The last time I uploaded something like this was easter so since then

I went home. It wasnt for very long but it was nice to see my mum and brother nevertheless. I took Hannah and Emily down with me and went out which wasnt the best idea ive ever head. Emily and I went to propaganda the night before, so we were both shattered and Hannah wasn't feeling great. However, the next day we went and got 5 guys which definitely was the best idea ever. We also met a really nice bloke on the night out, who reminded us severely of Ryan. His name was Sam, and was a 31 year old doctor. I mean he also had an absolutely lovely face, but that is besides the point.

• We went to see Age of Ultron. I wont leave any spoilers here because I'm sure i'll get murdered brutally. Just know that it was freaking great and so worth going to see. It's probably not even necessary to see the first Avengers film, even though you should because that is just as good. It was also a really good day, just to clarify. Hannah, Ryan, Emily and I went to play pool first, and we found out that Ryan was a boss at playing (He can do trick shots and all sorts) I first played a solo game with Emily, which I won. Then we paired up and I went with Ryan. Ryan potted the white and black ball so Hannah and Emily won. We then went to the cinema, minus Ryan but plus one of our props friends, Chris. We sat their for a good hour waiting for the film to come on, only to find out that the cinema screen had broken. We got upgraded to 3D and a free cinema ticket. I mean, I would have been angry but I spent nearly the whole hour laughing so it wasnt too bad.

• It was the last social of the year on Saturday and Emily and I worked the door. Turns out we arent great to collect money when we're drinking. However, thanks to Hannah and Ryan being there I suppose we did an alright job. It was a sick night anyway. Katie Collins, Maxine Stacey, Ben Cipolla and Spice and the Readies played and as per usual they all had sick sets despite the fact that half of them were ill. We then went to 2 Pigs and actually socialized which was weird. I mean, it got MASSIVELY packed and we ended up staying in the smoking area. We also had to walk home a very drunk fresher. He made me give him a piggy back then fell off me. 

• We got one of our assignments out of the way. I only put it in that way because it went awful. I wish we could actually say that we didnt have enough material but I would be lying. It was a twenty minute presentation, and while I was half way through my section our lecturer told us we had 3 minutes left. I was mortified. However, after it finished Ellie, Emily and I went and had shots and pints in the SU and stumbled home half cut. 

• Ive spent a couple of afternoons in the park. It sounds so simple, but Pitville Park makes me far too happy. Its such a pretty park, and it has ducks and things. Its just a really nice park to walk around. So if any of you get the chance to take me, do it. You'll have an extremely happy Kirsten on your hands. 

I havnt really done much else but go out drinking, go to work placement and go to uni. I realised while looking through my recent posts that I havnt done my 5 little happies for a while so I thought I'd include them in this post aswell. I apologise in advance:

1. Carly Rae Jepsen has just released a new song. I know what you're all thinking or internally shouting at me.. "Kirsten, get some music taste!!!" However, if you have seen the music video for said song, you'll understand whole-heartedly. It involves Tom Hanks. Hes not my favourite actor, but he makes the whole video actually really good. I hate that im saying this, but its also a really catchy song. Like, the lyrics are so simple but I just really enjoy dancing around to it when im doing my make-up                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
2. Tumblr. Mostly the Chris Hemsworth tag. Im not sure this really needs an explanation. I just really enjoy looking at his face at the moment. Especially when hes playing Thor.
3. Once Upon a Time. If any of you watch this, you'll understand the feels. For whoever doesnt, get onto it. Theyre going through a Villains phase at the moment, so they're explaining the back stories of Maleficent, Cruella De Ville and Ursella. 
4. I have recently purchased a beautiful pair of Topshop sunglasses and I absolutely love them. Theyre a bit too big for my face, but I genuinely give no shits. Theyre navy and beautiful.
5. Hazelnut Machiatos from Starbucks. 

Thats it, I reckon. 

Hope you enjoyed this post. 

TTYL,

Kirst x

P.S: The reason for the title is that currently, im drowning in a mountain of uni work so I thought it was relevant. It probably isnt but who cares.

Positive minds live positive lives.

Hi, hi, hi :-)

I was on tumblr today (Too many of my blog posts start with this line) and saw something that got me thinking. The picture said, "How do you define yourself?" I started thinking about how I would define myself. I have been asked to describe myself in 3 words so often and the answers I usually come up with are "Giggly, loud and chatty" because thats what you do right? You build yourself up to other people so they don't see you as you would see yourself.

I mean, if I were truthful to people those 3 adjectives are definitely not what I would use to describe myself. What I'm trying to get at here is, I don't understand why the majority of ourselves would describe ourselves negatively. 

The 3 words I would probably describe myself truthfully are probably

1. Dull - I usually cannot see the appeal of wanting to keep a conversation with me going. I know that sounds awful and a lot of you would be thinking, why the hell am I reading this? This just sounds like another blog post where people start to think negatively of themselves because Kirsten has decided to do the same. I don't mean to make you feel like that I promise. Thats just how I see it. I sometimes find it extremely hard to carry a conversation, not because I'm not interested in what you have to say, but because I just generally cannot find the words to reply with. 
2. Attitudy - Again, another thing that I don't mean to be but sometimes it just happens. I generally feel like I need someone with me at all times to poke me when I'm being a stroppy little cow, because I don't know when I'm doing it. 
3. Sad - Again, another one of things where it looks like I'm being an attention seeking twat. Im not, its just how I would describe myself. Like, obviously I'm not sad ALL the time. But A lot of things make me sad. I don't like being left on my own for too long, I get really sad if I feel like I'm annoying people, which in turn starts me over thinking (please tell me other people do this).

This is why I've decided to start writing down the things that make me happy in a day. 

Today so far, Ive watched an episode of Top Gear which has had two really great things in. 

1) Richard Hammond

2)Maclaren MP4-12C [x] - click here to see the most beautiful car in the world. 

It's also a really beautiful day, so theres another positive thing. 

Also, its 7 days till I get to go home. Yay.

I'm just going to point out that I am trying to be a more positive person but when you've been negative you're whole life to save yourself being disappointed, its a really hard habit to break.  

Thats it, I think. 

Hope you all have a wonderful day.

TTYL,

Kirst x

A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset

Hi, hi,0 hi! 

Its only going to be a short one today.

Since people have left, ive literally done nothing. Ive gone to work placement, gone to actual work, gone to uni and slept. Sometimes I do need that because a exhausted Kirsten isnt a Kirsten people enjoy. But for this moment, I just need interaction. Like, dont get me wrong ive been as sociable as I can be given the circumstances. But from going from living with 6 other people, plus going to lectures and going out nearly every week to doing sod all is so hard, and kind of makes me feel a bit shit. 

For a couple of days, ive seen one of my favourite bloggers, Sprinkle of Glitter doing "10 mini happies" and thought doing this might benefit myself, as i'm finding it hard to stay happy at the moment. I'm thinking I might do this like a couple of times a week (lets see how long this carries on for) 

Im going to do 5, instead of 10. 

Here goes.

1. In work placement today, the managers dogs came into the office and one of them(A really hairy border collie) came and sat next to me for a good 10 minutes. I havnt had any proper animal interations for a good 3 months so it was lovely. 
2. I had the BEST shower when I got home, and I now smell of lemonade courtesy of Soap and Glory Sugar Crush. Its such a good smell. I also did a facemask and stuff and now my face feels lovely.
3. I stopped in tescos on the way home and bought some Jaffa Cake cookies, theyre extremely good. But I did counteract these cookies by only eating 2 apples today and a bottle of water today. 
4. I turned my tv on just in time to watch "27 dresses" which is one of the best films. It has Katherine Heigl in, who is one of my favourite actresses.
5. I spoke to my mamma and Cardiff friends today about when I go home next week, which im suuuuuuper excited about. Its going to be a great time. 

Well there you have it.

I might upload another one on Thursday/Friday.

We'll see.

Thats all folks, 

TTYL,

Kirst x