Giving thanks and all that

Hey there.

If you didn't know, yesterday was thanksgiving in America and although Britain doesn't tend to celebrate it, I'm pretty damn thankful for a few few things.
Thanksgiving is typically celebrated on the last Friday of November, and its a joyous day where Americans all go back to their family homes and stuff themselves silly.
I thought i'd do this post to tell you what I'm thankful for.

Number one goes to my mammy.
I probably couldn't thank her enough for everything she does for me. Obviously I wouldn't be here without her, for a start. She's my best friend and I would be completely stuck without her. As in, I probably would have exploded if I didn't have her to talk to, especially this semester. She's a wonderful person, and I couldn't have asked for any one better




Number 2, goes to my uni family.

These would include Hannah, Ryan, Emily and Ellie.
I definitely would have dropped out of uni around about a year ago without these suckers. They're like my dysfunctional family that I never asked for, but got anyway. They all have their uses, that's for sure. Ryan and Hannah are literally like the mother and father of the house and Emily and Ellie are like my nuisance little sisters. I, apparently have been named the fun aunt.. Not sure how that works out. I can't thank them enough because honestly, I wouldn't be who I am today without them. And who am I today? A completely broken, insane lady who loves her housemates very much.

Number 3 would be my education.
As much as I complain about it, University and Music and Media Management is definitely one of the main things I'm thankful for. Don't get me wrong, I definitely wouldn't recommend you take the course if you're looking to be a band manager because, I'm pretty sure half the modules I'm doing currently have absolutely nothing to do with what anyone wants to do. I mean, I don't think I need to show my apparent "creative" side to prove that I'm worthy of managing someone. However, I came to uni knowing hardly anything about the music industry, and now, well I know a lot more than I did.

Number 4? This would go to Megan E. Bloom.
This little fucker completely broke my heart, however I'm so thankful for her existence. Although, she lives like 1000 miles away, I know she's just a Face Time away, and shes helped me so much. I dont mean "help" in the regular sense. Im 100% she helped my metal state, and I cant thank her enough for that. She was always there for me, and still is. I'm honestly not even sure how much else I can say that people havnt already heard. But Megan, I love you girl.




5 is going to my Cardiff buddies
                                         Hannah, Jenny, Shannon, Lowri, Danni and Amy.

I dont see these girls half as much as I used to, and this breaks my heart. I love them as if they were my own family though. I also dont say this half as much as I should but I'm so thankful that you girls are in my life. I love you.


Last but not least.. number 6 is to all the friends that I don't talk to anymore, to all the mistakes i've made (take that how you will) THANK YOU! You've helped me more than anyone on this list. Want to know why? If i didnt realise how wrong I was before stopping talking to you, then I would still be making the same mistakes now.

Thanks for reading.
Hope you enjoyed this post.
TTYL,
Kirst x

Lets all fake it till you make it.

Hello. 

I thought i'd steal a blog post idea from my friend Emily. 
You can find said blog post here.  :)

1. "Fake it 'til you make it" (also called "act as if") is a common catchphrase that means to imitate confidence so that as the confidence produces success, it will generate real confidence"

I don't know about you, but I'm quite partial to a bit of "faking it till you make it." I mean, I don't do it all the time but quite often if you see me overreacting to something, or using bit hand gestures then 9 times out of 10 I'm a nervous wreck and I'm meant to playing it cool. I know its not me that does this. You can bet that every man and his dog gets nervous. In the industry I am currently studying to be in, its definitely not a good thing.

I remember being told by an old boss, that I get really flustered and I start making mistakes when I'm nervous, when don't think I'm good enough to be doing what I'm doing, that that's my downfall. 

A lot of people, when nervous just break down and decide that they simply cannot do the take they were set. 

I know recently, my "faking" persona has got a hell of a lot better. I mean, Over the past year or so I have had around about 5 interviews and I've gotten 4/5 of the jobs. But certain things, you'll literally just see me crumble. Especially around guys. I become a complete wreck around boys. I always say to myself, "Kirsten, if you see (insert name) today, just act cool." It never happens, I always end up making a complete tit out of myself. I know it doesn't help me but I just cant help it. 

Its the complete same with presentations. I go up to start, I try to talk about one subject, and I either start falling about my words, or start talking about something completely off topic. Why is this? I mean, what goes on in peoples brains for them to completely lose it at the most important times? 

I googled how to "fake it till you make it" (Apparently, google is a good "go-to" tool) and I'm not sure what it told me, is in any way a good idea. A lot of the things I read, basically told me to become an arrogant ass. Which im not about. But I did stumble upon one website, which I'll link here if anyone wants to have a mooch at. It basically talks about:

• Body language.

I know for a fact that know one in their right mind would take anyone seriously if they were stood with their arms crossed, or slumped down in a chair. I know the right posture gives off the vibe that you know what you're talking about. So, standing up straight, or keeping your back straight while sitting down will show people that you're serious, and you're there for business. (Or whatever that saying is.) While you're doing this if you're looking down at hands or fiddling with something while someone is trying to talk to you, you're going to look rude, aren't you? Try holding some eye contact. Whoever it is will respect you a bit more.

• How you speak.

Its going to be a bit obvious that you're stupidly nervous if you start speaking really fast. You're going to start tripping over your words, then get flustered that you've done that. Its definitely not going to make a good impression. if you've got a speech to read, ask a friend to sit with you while you practice. It might help in the long run.

• How you dress

If you dress like you feel a thousand pounds, then I feel like that's how its going to come across. Reminder that you'll only ever get out what you put in. So if you go to interviews or presentations in jeans and hoodies, get rejected or a bad grade then wonder why? then obviously you're doing something wrong. 

I probably couldn't say much else about this subject, seeing as I still have a LONG way to go before I can stop "faking it" 

I really hope you've enjoyed this blog post. 

Thanks for reading.

Kirst x

Trying to be happy.

Hey.

This is going to be a bit of a weird post.
I apologize if its not to your taste but I felt a burning desire to write it this morning.
Its about trying to make yourself happy.
This post is also going to be quite a personal one.

I saw one of my favourite bloggers writing a blog about fresh starts and stuff, which gave me the idea to write this. If you want to go and read it, shes at this link
Go and have a read, its a decent blog.
So lets get down to it.
The reason ive written a blog on "trying to be happy" is because im struggling at the moment. Really hard.
 I found a short quote on tumblr, the other day. Which I feel could describe me accurately.

"She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad, and that's important" - Marilyn Monroe

 

Ive been trying my hardest to make myself happy. Which includes getting obliterated, which didn't work out so well. If you've seen me lately, you'll have seen how messed up I look. To the point where I got asked if I was in an accident. ITS NOT AS BAD AS THAT!
I have a bit of a black eye, a stupidly bruised wrist, and a couple of other large bruises dotted around my body.
At the time, im sure I had a great time (I cant remember much of the night) however, I woke up in the morning completely miserable. I didnt really even have much of a hangover, I just wasnt happy with myself.
The same happened last monday, minus the bruises and blackouts. I realised over the weekend, I should probably stop drinking. But thinking about it, am I really going to do that? Unlikely.
So I wrote a list last night of things that potentially make me happy, even if it is for a short time and I thought I would share a few with you. If these things could help me be happy for a short period of time, im sure they can help someone else.

1. Obviously, my mum was going to number one on my list. Going home, or even speaking to her on the phone makes my mood a bit better always. It just makes me feel like I can take a breathe of relief knowing shes there, and she always will be, no matter how much I fuck up.

2. My friends. Again, they were always going to be on this list. But honestly, I did only mean a handful of friends, and if they were smart they'd know I meant them. Certain friends of mine always make me feel more relaxed when im around them, like I can just sit there quitely and listen to them jabber on about complete shit and I dont have to say a word. When im in a certain type of mood, I can only be around certain friends, who dont act like complete tools when together.

3. Singing really loudly and dancing like an idiot. If people knew me then they'd know that those 2 things come as a package with me. Its definitely uncontrollable. I cant do either, but it definitely helps me release steam. Usually, the music will be something completely ridiculous like Busted or even Abba because, as everyone knows, they're so easy to dance to. Doing this probably isnt up everyones street, but trust me, it helps so much. Just lock your door.

4. This one is going to be really shallow. I REALLY enjoy knowing that my boobs look good in a top or dress that im wearing. It sounds so stupid but its such a confidence booster. Especially because they're my most potent asset. Obviously, if it were you, you would want your best feature to look amazing. Well, thats the same with me.

5. Next one is a bit weird. I really enjoy going to work. Like, being surrounded by overly drunk people serving them drinks takes my mind off the shit that goes on in there. Its literally like an escape.

6. Having a good cry has to go on here. It sounds so weird but let me put you into a scenario. Imagine that you've had a really crappy day. You argued with your best friend, or you had a really shitty customer in work and you come home and you dont know whether you feel upset or angry. You walk into your bedroom, and you just start crying. You dont know why, you just cry. When you finish, how much better do you feel? Like, you're ready to face making up with said best friend, or you want to go into work and prove yourself. It feels so much better.

7. Lazy days are the greatest. I have a lot of things on this list that ties in with this.

• A good cup of tea
• Fresh bedding
• A bubble bath
• Reading a good book. (Im currently reading Harry Potter)
• Freshly painted nails
• Watching disney films
• Sleeping

8. Being at uni, I have decided, is a large factor in me having a good day. Especially the rare occurrence when I have a full day and theyre interesting lectures.
EG. Last monday, Ellie, Emily and I turned up for our E-Marketing lecture expecting a really shocking lecturer we have for this module. Which we got. However, she planned a really good lecture. It was all about online trust and what types of websites and people we should trust on the internet. This lead to talking about a blogger/youtuber who has recently become big, Zoella. The discussion was about whether people should trust her judgement on beauty products.

9. Im going to put two in one again because they both link. For my 21st birthday, Megan gave me a photo frame with  her favourite photo on Her, Eric and I in, and honestly, looking at it makes me smile because we were all a bit drunk and its such a lovely photo. It basically summed us 3 up last year

leading on from that, FaceTiming Megan is also on my list. If you didnt know, Megan and I were really close last year and it was one of the hardest things to do, saying goodbye when she went back to America. It just makes me feel a lot better knowing shes just a facetime away.

10. This is the most important, I feel. Being around people that are happy improves my mood tenfold. I find that happy people are ALWAYS optimistic. Negative vibes are the absolute worst when you aren't in a great mood. I find that positivity can raise happiness levels quite a bit. So surrounding yourself with happy people can have an affect on your life.

I know trying to cut things out of your life that makes you unhappy is really hard. Ive lived it, im STILL living it. Honestly, just work out what it is that makes you unhappy and start from there. I havnt actually made my angry/sad list just yet, but they will be made and I will start cutting the crap out of my life.
I found this website to help me with number 10, its helpful.

I really hope you enjoyed this blog.
Over the past few posts I have put up, I found that the more posts that were a bit more emotionally attached to me gets a lot more reads. So im going to try and do that.
Thank you so much for reading this.
It means a lot.
TTYL,
Kirst x